CHECK OUT MY NEW BLOG!!! :)

http://homaidwhine.wordpress.com/

 

The Ho-Maid Line of Free Time!

The Ho-Maid line all began about 8 years ago out of a kitchen. It started as a funny chemistry lesson/I am broke and need to bring gifts for holidays.  After getting laid off from work, I have decided to spread and market my line of goods and some of the supplies to make them. You can follow me on my two blogs, etsy, ebay resale store, and many more places, which will provide other ideas and insights in to my eco-minimalist world and will gladly answer any questions you may have. Look for updates as I build this empire!

 

LET THE TRUE MARKETING OF MY LIFESTYLE BEGIN!!!

 

 

To let go or to be let go, that is the question…….

On Tuesday of last week, I was notified my position was being disbanded and i would be laid off effective May 1st.  Now, to most people this would be hurtful and disheartening, and a true gut check.  But to me, it is a blessing.  I have worked in only two fields during the course of my working life- food service and metals manufacturing.    During the 2008 economic meltdown i was only one of 5 overhead office employes that was not laid of or terminated out of the 30 I worked with. I left that job for two reasons, a conflict of interest in my personal life and there was not upward mobility.  It has been over two years since i left to go to another local machine shop, again with no upward mobility, way smaller, and in continual decline of work.  So much so that in the last year I have spent most of the 45 hours on the clock doing personal things and building my internet company and image, as the ok of my employer, as there really is nothing to do.  The owner and i spoke briefly a few times over the last year, each time i asked for more work and more responsibility, and each time he would try to find something, but at some point we both had to draw the line that creating work for someone when doing it yourself is more efficient is not in the best interest of the company.  I found it good that i could always be candid with him.  I told him that truthfully he did not need all four of us in the office.  Really he only needed two and they would still both have “free time.”  I told him i felt bad doing my own stuff, and he said well hopefully that is temporary, as 2013 should be better…. well a qtr deep in to 2013 and we have laid off everyone in the shop we could to still fulfil production goals, and the overhead was next… meaning me.  I have been bored and unhappy here for the last year because of the lack of work and purpose.  I know as an employee anywhere you can be replaced, but as an employee i want to feel passionate that the work i am doing is for the greater good of my employer.  My direct boss is also a huge concern of mine.  And not being under his thumb is more than uplifting….

Now, as a teen mom who has done only work since the day my child was born- not working is a bit frightening to me.  ONce upon a time I stayed at home with my children when they were small, and went to school, while their father worked two and three jobs for u.  I went back to work once i graduated because i was supposed to be the breadwinner then….flash forward to today i will ot be working.  My partner will be.  What do i do?!?!

Never you fear!!!!!!

 

Where there is time- I will fill it.  I am SO SUPER LUCKY right now i could shout it from the rooftops.  Although we will have less income, I have lived with way less income during times in my life than right now.  Had this happened even a year ago i would e so stressed and sick and freaking out it would have been terrible.  But because of my partner, his work ethic and positive attitude- we will be ok.  He said, well i guess this is your sign to apply yourself to what you love!  We will figure out the rest…we can do it.

So…..

I  feel about a bazillion times better.  And i am accountable to him during this time.  IF i spend too much, if i am being lazy around the house, or dont bring in enough from my online business, he will get on my back about it.  IF i feel like he is slacking, i will do the same.  W again, have talked it over-BEFORE issue and we set a plan in place FOR the upcoming situation.  There is accountability, responsibility, and faith in one another that neither of us will shoot the other in the foot.

I will still apply for jobs, but will target jobs that fit my expertise instead of “whatever” and i will finish my Real estate schooling, spend time with my kids, go out and market my advocacy programs, and Rock my small business out!  Bring in some clients and Teach people about minimalist endeavors, and the environmental fun of healthy living, relationships,and getting your hands active and dirty instead of lazy and idle.

🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Root of all Evil: Resolution 2013 (MM)- Qtr 1. 2013: Update.

 

 

 

https://undoingrelianceproject.wordpress.com/2013/01/03/the-root-of-all-evil-resolution-2013-mm/

the original article link is above.

Topic 1: Garbage and recycling

What i said:

My goal is less than 5% household waste.  I will measure this by the number of bags of garbage and recycling taken out a week.  Currently we take out 2-4, 13 gallon bags every two days.  I want to  bring that down to 1 bag a week each of recycling and 1 bag garbage or less.  Going from at most 13 bags down to at most 2 bags a week is quite a difference- manageable but changing….

What has occurred:

We are at 2 bags of garbage and 2 bags recycling a week.  Improvements have definitely been made. Not where i want to be, but getting there.

 

Topic 2: Root of all evil puree

 

What I said:

One of the things I have newly incorporated is taking the ends of veggies you typically shove down the garbage disposal, or softer veggies that you would normally discard, and using them.  I have a bag in the freezer I have labeled the “roots of all evil” and in it are the rough ends of onion, carrot, potato skins, celery ends, etc.  once i fill up the gallon size bag i boil it in either bean stock (the bean juice from cans of chili or black beans, which I also save and freeze) or salt pepper and about a quarter the depth of water to veggies in the pot.  Once soft I puree it.  It typically looks a green or bizarre rusty color, but it can be used as is or added to anything from roasts, slow cooker meals, soups, chili, or pasta/sauces.  You can added it to small bursts of things like spaghetti sauce to sneak attack anti-veggie kids or add noodles and chopped up other veggies to the puree to make a hearty winter soup.  We figured this over the course of a month would save us about 2-4 meals worth of main course meals-or roughly $50-75.00 a month, in our 7 person household.

What has occurred:

Four meals/meal sides and left overs.  Awesome way to make salsa, stock, and bisque style soup!!!  WIN!

Topic 2: oil reuse

What I said:

One of the things my fantastic partner brought to the table,  is saving our frying oil for multiple uses.  We do not have a fryer, nor do we fry often, but when we doo it seems so foolish to throw away a few cups of oil on one meal.  Because oil is heated to a high temp when frying any and all potential bacteria will be burned off  during the current use and prior to the next use as it heats. Oil is a preservative, so molding is not a huge issue either. We have a separate labeled air tight container that we use for it.  Once the oil gets too chunky or cloudy we will discard it and start over, and clean out the container to begin again.  This is our first attempt at this but will probably render us about $20.00 in grocery savings a month.

What actually occurred:

We did it!!!

We are in bottle two of good oil, with a bottle of reusable oil there for frying!!!!!

Topic 4: Egg shell calcium

What i said:

Egg-shell calcium supplements- Egg shells contain great amounts of calcium.  And typically this great benefit to the egg is discarded or wasted- but it does not have to be.  Come spring, I typically buy my eggs from a local farmer every Sat morning otherwise, I buy Wisconsin (local) eggs at the store and avoid ones that have growth hormones added.  When I use an egg, I have a container in my fridge i throw the eggshells until i get through about 12 of them I do not store open shells with whole unused ones..  Then I lay them out on a sheet pan and cook them (any membrane insides left there are fine to leave on) and I cook them at 375 degrees for less than 15 min, pulling them out before they burn, but cooked long enough to kill bacteria and make them brittle-a little browning is fine. You can also boil them.  Then i grind them up in a coffee bean grinder until they are a fine powder and place it in a mason jar.  Every meal i make, or bread dough, etc i take and add 1/2 teaspoon of this powder to it to increase the calcium content and get my family closer to the daily needed amounts.  Of the seven of us, three do not drink milk or eat enough food with calcium, and one has a dairy restriction-so anything I can do to help them avoid brittling of their bones during the growth periods will do nothing but help.  I have attached a link to better assist:

What actually occurred:

I have added 1 teaspoon to every dinner since the first of the year.  My jar is going good and strong.  We are all seemingly healthy in my house, only a few minor colds.

Topic 5: employment.

Not a darn thing has occurred.  interviews and feedback- over qualified, never hear from them agin…. cries!

 

Topic 6: you grow girl and other fermentation friends…..

Everything is the same: no better no worse!!!

 

SO far there are no additional goals added except to have a rummage sale and pay off all loans: we had 7 loans at the first of the year.  We are down 1 loan at the 1st qtrs. end.

 

 

How are you doing so far on yours?

 

Minimal mommy say Let’s keep it up!

 

Product Review: A few good hairs:

My review process and disclosure

I love free samples!!!!! Reviewing them unbiased and try-before-you-buy-style Is fun!!! Go consumer product research!  I have become a free sample junkie.  I love, love. love getting samples at stores and in the mail. I try not to buy most women things.  And so far, the easiest things to get for free are women products from shampoos to perfumes and the like.  I started this free sample hunt about 4 months ago, and have decided to review the products as a way to both thank the company for the ability for me to try before I buy, and for consumers to have a real and unbiased commentary about a product.  I have a three drawer storage box under my bathroom counter and a box in my spice cabinet where my free samples go, to be used when I need them, just curious, or I am in the mood to change it up and write a review.   Sometimes I will write a lot of reviews in one short span of time, and other times I will break from doing it. These are my opinions, and please feel free to let me know if you agree or disagree.  I am trying to see how much of my life I can exist upon free samples……. to see if I can get by, and if so for how long.  Free samples also travel well.  Small enough to fit TSA carry on regulations AND they can fit in the cracks of your shoes and other small places for transport.  So here we go!

HAIR CARE TEST

In my house we have three girls with very differing hair needs:

Me age 29: I have wavy, semi healthy hair, dry ends, and undyed, naturally colored.

My eldest Jolie age 12: Thick, thick, wavy hair.  Her hair is so think it has issues retaining the good smell of shampoo, and often times has a “head smell” but nothing clean and fresh.

My youngest Lilie age 8: thin, mousey bone straight hair. It looks dirty only a few hours after she has bathed….but it always smells nice.

In order to make these tests as close replication as possible, I wash all of our hair, in hot water once a day at night. Conditioners are put in at the end for 2 minutes at the minimum. qtys of each are about the diameter of a nickel per person per experience.

 

WOW!!!! love it!!!!!  will buy!!!!!   The sample came with i shampoo bottle and 1 conditioner bottle sized slightly larger than travel/hotel sized.  They sent me enough to use the shampoo for 10 hair washings, and conditioner for about 20.  This stuff was so amazing on my dry and heat burned hair.  It became more shiny and felt softer, and was less tangled, smelled good and was awesome!  As for Lil- it made her hair shiny and soft, and not dirty looking.  Jolie- no change-

 

This sample arrived in a packet/pod with a coupon for 1.00 off. Three use at most.

Awesome product for Jolie.  Her hair was soft, and it smelled good for hours after it had naturally dried.  Lilie and I saw little to no change in shine, or health, but out heads smelled good for over 24 hours.

This sample came with three pods/packets attached- one shampoo, one conditioner, and one repair serum.  Again 3 use max, with the exception of the serum- I am p to 5 uses and probably have about 1 or 2 more.

Shampoo- worked well but did not change the appearance of any of our hair.  The smell did not last in jolie’s hair after her hair dried. The conditioner seemed to make lilie’s hair softer and mine less tangled.

The serum- only i used and am still using.  The my heat fried dried ends seem softer, but i do not know that they are healthier (or if that is possible without cutting them off).  My hair does feel softer all around though.

 

In conclusion, given the three sample products, three different hair types, and similar testing situations applied- the ultimate winner is the Clear shampoo and conditioner for Lilie and I, but the Garnier Fructis for Jolie.

 

Thank you to the companies and participants.  Let me know if you have others you want me to try!  Contact me if you want me to try your products too!

 

Until next time,

C

 

(Un)doing the Hype: How Social Familial Constructs Doom the Step-Family.

We are human.  My partner Shane, and I, have put ourselves in a statistically unsound decision.  We have assembled a household of two autonomous families under one roof, with different expectations and different mentalities in whole-not in part and theoretically speaking, polar opposites and therefore against all odds potentially doomed to fail.

Some people would say- who cares if social constructs doom a remarriage or step family you should never have been there to begin with.  you are living in sin, etc.  While I understand that POV and perspective-you cannot tango with one person.  It takes two.  If one leaves or one had no respect or regard for the other-what examples does that set for the children and their future thoughts on relationships.  Sometimes good-bye is a second chance, and a time to self examine you as part of a problem.

 

Intro to the past:

Shane and I have both been married before, early in our youth.  Both with the expectation of wedded bliss and that a person could change or we were worth changing for.  We were young, our previous partners were young, and we were invincible, had shot-gun weddings……But like 51% of marriages, we both failed.  The interesting part is both of our partner’s left us, yet we were the filers of the divorce papers.  So really, given the context of societal expectation and religious expectation-neither one of us should be where we are now- breathing down the face of a second marriage.  So why would we do it again?  I swore up and down i would not do it ever again.  It was not worth it, it was not what i wanted it to be, la dee, la.  He always though it was possible for him to remarry at some point, but it had to be the right person, and the relationship had to take time.  Due to the fact we are both Social science majors, we took it upon ourselves to really self examine our parts in the failure.  What was it that made us not appealing, made them seek out others for fulfillment, that we were not giving, and the like.  When we talk about it now he says he failed by becoming complacent, and did not get involved with the money and bill paying until it was really bad (near bankruptcy) and then fights would erupt. He was there, she was there, and that was just how life would be- happy, miserable, or anywhere inbetween-he said i do and that is what he would just deal with.  I however, was an enabler with extremely high expectations.  My former partner had a drinking problem.  I thought he would stop drinking for me and our kids. I though he would/could change.  He worked a ton of hours, and i went to school.  We both worked for what we though would make us happy-the two cars, nice home, kids in private school, and sports, and the like.  I kept our house super clean, his laundry done and ready for the 5 minutes at home between jobs clothing change, and a hot meal on the table-everyday.  But once we hit it, we had nothing in common.  He watched tv and drank, or wanted to go out with his friends, and I wanted to stay home in our world we created, and read.  He was social, I was not.  So to keep him home I would make sure the house was fully stocked-from pop and rum/whiskey to beers of various sorts.    What I though would keep him home, worked in part, except that he would bring his friend’s home as well after they stopped at the bar after work on the way home.  When things broke in the house, I expected him to fix it.  He did not know how, so I would either do it my self, or call my dad-which made him feel dumb and useless, and I adding insult to injury, would get on his case for it.  I pushed him to go back to school, something he did not want to do.  And when he left, he said he needed a break-he couldn’t be who I wanted him to be.   So this begs the question-why once both of us hit home ownership, kids, cars, and life as we were taught to seek-did things fail?  Some people say faith/religion was not as important a feature in our lives to hold us together, some could say that it was maturity, and other still say expectation and reality did not match and the continuation of a relationship stood on change-something that is ill-fated to rely on.

Because we have both been in this terrible place in a relationship with another person, staring down the possibility that this was a wrong move, or a bad decision, or I made a mistake, or they changed, what happened to happily ever after, etc. we still have our insecurities.  We know what we want, we know what it looks and feel like because we both passed through that multiple times before.  But the persons we were with prior did not have what we have- and that is diligence, that is hanging on through thick and thin.  And although there are times I may not like him so much I still love him and I cannot imagine my life without him.  And I think as long as that is there-and the knowledge that issues will happen at times, it does not have to be the be all end all- and if we work TOGETHER to change, things will be ok.  The difference is now, neither expect the other to change, growth occurs together, and we are both extremely motivated to better ourselves individually, yet push the other one more.  But lets explore what happens next. When two people fall in love-post divorce-post kids- post life ever after…..

Thinking distinctly at each part:

We are taught and what is implied as good: You go to school, once you leave HS, you go to college or get a job or join the military.  Then one man and one woman fall in love.  You get married, buy a house, and have kids, get a pet, have two cars, your kids grow up, have school and extra curricular, and eventually leave, and your sell the house, downsize, retire, vacation and golf, dote on your grand children, and die- TOGETHER-same husband same wife.

What actually occurs:

50% get divorced in the first marriage.

60% get divorced after marrying for the second time.

73% get divorced after marrying for a third time.

1% of same sex couples that are legally married get divorced per year while 2% plus of heterosexual couples get divorced per year on average.

Statistics on the Likelihood of Divorce

If your parents are happily married, your risk of divorce decreases by 14 percent.

People who wait to marry until they are over the age of 25 are 24 percent less likely to get divorced.

Living together prior to getting married can increase the chance of getting divorced by as much as 40 percent.

If you’ve attended college, your risk of divorce decreases by 13 percent.

2008 voter data shows that “red” states (states that tend to vote Republican), have higher divorce rates than “blue” states (states that tend to vote Democrat).

The Barna Research Group measured divorce statistics by religion. They found that 29 percent of Baptists are divorced (the highest for a US religious group), while only 21 percent of atheists/agnostics were divorced (the lowest).

We are in love, we are best friends.  Our kids are not.  We asked them to share in our happiness and devotion to each other and they cannot, or don’t want to, or feel slighted by each other for favoritism or spite.  There is a lot of resent among the children-this primarily due to the lifestyles that they have lived and using those to gauge and categorize the others with in it.  We remedy this by being ok with each other parenting their own kids autonomously, with parental crossovers occurring in regard to talking back, respect for each other, chores, and things we have up on the manner board.  It sounds like more work on paper, but what it does is keeps things consistent to previous expectations AND blended in that the blended items are things all children should learn anyways i.e chewing with the mouths closed, please, thank you, and respect for others.

So in closing, to each their own.  BE conscious of what your verbal and non verbal cues are setting for examples for children.  While is seems difficult, truthfully having things remain consistent in the home is the best thing for the kids involved-when combining two familial units in to one house, well slow and steady compromise, well noted expectations with real life consequences, and time to understand from all sides really is the only way to keep something on the fringes of “good” in society beneficial.  Failure once, does not mean failure a second time.  If you put the necessary self-examination, patience, and time in to all of the parts.  And truly understand that you may love your partner, but you will never be, nor will they be or replace the actual parents your outside children you brought in, have.

C

 

Works cited:

http://www.mckinleyirvin.com/blog/divorce/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/

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Can I just say that this last week has just sucked.  My heart hurts.  Things a decade ago, brought back up are still as raw as the day they occurred.  Sometimes i am amazed that the human heart can hurt so much, physically and emotionally, without killing a person.

Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you’re told
You keep these feelings, no one knows
Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There’s a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

I will be attending a funeral on Saturday morning.  A friend of mine I have known since elementary school, lost her baby.  I am the god mother to both of her other children.  And I just hurt for her.  I have cried on and off since I found out.  I know first hand that time may cover the wound, but it never heals.  Sometimes i do not know if my tears are for her, for her future emotions, feelings, knowing what parts of the rest of her life, under certain situations will feel like, the empty, the hollow, the gut wrenching, the fear, loss, and the why.  She has two babies to hold in her hollow, while she wonders about the child gone, two babies to nurture, keep her busy and live for as she mourns, but she will mourn every birthday, smile, age appropriated accomplishment with a what if and i wonder what he would be doing, playing, taking to prom, etc. They dont call it “expecting” for no reason. When you are pregnant you are expecting this child and everything the comes with it…..when you don’t get what you are expecting, you are hurt, disappointed etc. But this crosses all of those lines with that added maternal connection. There is also an element of guilt.  That feeling like, because that child was in  your belly, did you do something to hurt or harm the child, ultimately leading to their death.  So many mothers and fathers out there have gone through this, really.  It is more common than even I expected it to be.  And every time to everyone it hurts.  When it hits a close friend or closer to home It just hurts, reminds, and floods.

Last night i was thinking amidst tears, how did we all get here?  None of this is what we thought or where we’d be.

I can still remember, The words and what they meant, As we etched them with our fingers, In years of wet cement, The days blurred into each other, Though everything seemed clear, We cruised along at half speed, But then we shifted gears …Now all my friends gone Maybe we’ve outgrown all the things that we once loved Identities assume us As nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy  We’re all ok, until the day we’re not The surface shines, while the inside rots

12,13,14,15,16, standing atop a local middle school sledding hill, with a pocket of pot, and the sunshine warm on our faces. A bunch of private school punks. Free.  So many stories, breaths, first kisses, hand holding, and dreaming took place up there.  I remember many times lying there with my friends talking about how we would never get old, 30 was forever away, and wondering if we would always be as happy and free as we were in those moments, laughing until our bellies hurt, falling in love.  We were probably the last generation of kids that went out a daybreak and came home at dinner or dark.  We played outside, and walked, and rode bikes, and skated.   I look at this group, that started with two boys as best friends, and turned in to an influx of the misfits.  None of us were like our other classmates at various private schools, but we all found each other.  Those were the best years of my life.  We used to make fun of one of the boys, in a terrible manner.  He was my first true love.  Him and i dated multiple times through out that time.  Our first kiss was on that hill.  But he wanted to grow up to be a nurse.  And we were kids, boys weren’t nurses!  (they were, but none of us were the wiser).  And of us all, he seemed to be the only one that at nearly 30, got it all right….and grew up to be a nurse. 🙂

When we dreamed out loud our expectations, I don’t think any of us imagined careers, families, and death.  I mean, we were all fully aware of our mortality, but knowing and experiencing it were never a second thought.  Most of us wanted to get married and have kids eventually, but none of us thought about divorce and unplanned children, or the death of our children.  By 30, we were gong to be out of this dead-end town, exploring the world, taking over and making millions, not all still here, some college educated others underground rockstars- all still in the dead-end town struggling to survive and raise our kids around the things we hated. Some alive, some dead. What happened and where did the time go?  Who are we?  What have we become? In Breakfast Club style labels, we were the tough girl, the nerd(s), the princess, mc-average, the rockstar(s), the athlete, and the dancer.  We were all misfits cast out of our cool social peers; like a scunk-good with stripe of naughty.   But we all had deep hearts, better intentions, and supersized dreams, we could not ever cover up, even today.

“But we sow seeds to see us through ‘Cause sometimes dreams just don’t come true. We wait to reap what we are due”   

Back to today, in this place and time, we all sit.  Some better off than others, some happy and some in deep agony.  Some alive and some gone from us.  Some deserving of life’s shakes and castings, and others not so but taking it and building from it.

I spent the last portion of the evening crying in my partners arms.  I could not verbalize any of it, he had to read it, and i just cried clutching a tiny knit hat.  There is just so much feelings and emotions still cannot label or define.  It is the worst kind of hell on earth.  It is nights like that that I really believe that God truly blessed me with him in my life.  But i also think he can love and understand the way he does, because he frees himself of the fear of being hurt.  His arms never left me.  And although i know he cannot at all wrap his head or his heart around the loss of a child, it has never sopped him from just being there for me when the flood gates opened.  My daughter’s father could not do that.  As terrible as it may sound, her death was the end mark of our marraige, just after it had begun.  We both tried, but nothing could ever remedy or fix that hole we could be there for each other to fill.  I hope and i pray that my friend and her husband do not meet that same conclusion, ever.

I give her a ton of credit.  She is having a service and a burial, and the notice of passing was in the paper.  I could not have brought myself to do that.  Even today.  It has been nearly ten years, and i still dont think i could do it.  Rorie’s ashes still sit in an angel urn on my bed, her little knit cap atop its head. Some people say that the service brings closure. My closure came in the form of a home work assignment in public speaking, that the teacher nor I could have ever planned for or known.   I have known it to be beneficial to celebrate her birthday, her memory every year.  I have heard it to be beneficial to seek grief counseling together and apart to help bring closure and the parents closer.  Maybe if we would have things would have been different.  I don’t know.  All i do know is it hurts, still, always and forever.  I hurt for her,  hurt for me, and i hurt for all other mothers out there who have and do live through this nightmare.  I will be there for her.  And like her I will have faith that i will see my angel again some day.  Believe that there is a reason this had to happen, and that this angel is keeping protective tabs on the living children we both have, and that we are both strong enough to get through all of it until we pass on.
So to all out there who have lost a child, the first thing I want to make sure you know is you are not alone.  You are now part of an exceptional group of parents who can both mourn and can live, if for nothing more than but for the memory of the child(ren) we lost.  In this group there are ears to hear your pain, arms extended to hold you in your darkest moments, and support from those that know that no words will ever fill the void.  No child will replace the one lost, no person under the sun, that can take any of it from you.

 

In those moments, all i can offer to you is faith and a friend.  And there are many more of me out there.

 

C

 

 

 

lyrics and music from Funeral for a Friend, Shinedown, and Rise Against.

 

Welcome to My Rant-lery and (Un)protected Heart.

I have found that the hardest time to teach my kids anything is when i am having a hard time understanding it, or am provoked in to emotions that i try to teach them to contain.

The thing about fight club, is you never talk about fight club.

As a parent the hardest conflicts i have i have in my mind.  i have varying sides that fight with one another.  The one side, the hurt or angered side, is just that, hurt and angered, emotional, illogical, and irrational; another side is more pragmatic, logical, and rational wondering why the antagonist is they way they are, what can be done to remedy it, do i need to be the one to remedy it or should time go about its business, etc.; and yet a third side hugs the emotional side and reassure that those feelings are only human, acknowledges and encourages the pragmatic side to do what it truly believes is good and right, and envelops theory and prior experience and knowledge with patience and love and moves on.

 

The thing i have learned, most relevant in my life during times of provocation is: You (the antagonist/s) have taught me a very good lesson in what state of mind I do not want to have, act, or be perceived.  You cannot change others, your actions can merely influence them to make the decision to change if they so choose to. And their actions, can have the same effect on you, only if you want them to.  I cannot change my family, for instance, but they have changed me.  I hurt for them and the emptiness and insecurity they must have deep with in their soul.  I, will never know this for certain, but by actions, especially toward me and my children, they may as well scream it from the heavens.  Because of this i hurt for them.  Because of this they hurt me and my  kids.  We are the catalyst of things they will never understand, sensations of love and caring so deep they will never feel.  A trust in one another they will never have.  They will go on doubting everything and one in life-I wont waste my time on that.  Take the time you spend doubting and use it to deeply enjoy the love around you.  Even if it leaves you at some point-who cares-you wasted not time on giving and receiving love while it was there.

 

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason.  Sometimes when i talk to God, I joke with him…. “you think you could have taught me that sooner?”  “Why did you let me keep the wool over my eyes for that long?” ” hey, God, any insight here would be appreciated!” ” God why me?  I appreciate that you think i am strong enough to handle this, but i could use a break from testing….”  But, at the same time I do not expect an answer.  Time will show face, time will heal wounds, scars will remind and teach.  And i will carry on.

It took me a long time to appreciate God.  I have always been fascinated with religious conjectures and ideals, and i have always doubted.  At some low points in my life I had no faith.  I had no belief.  And then something happened.  I learned to love and appreciate all i had.  I would never wish these occurences in my life on anyone, but the things that i learned from it are the things that i use daily to keep on.  The thing i also learned is that what people thought were my lowest moments, they weren’t.  They were low, but they were blessings in disguise.  Items i though were low or rock bottom moments for others in my life, may not have been their lowest either…..who is to say for certain.

Whatever the best is, may it come in time.  May it show face when it needs to show face.  May it be there when, or not at all.  Only time will tell what God already knows.  And i will do and be the person that i am because I took the time to see the lessons brought to me, I took on the challenge, fell, and got back up, multiple times.  I learn face-first sometimes too.  And when it was all said and done i learned who I am, how i want to act and feel, and how i do not want to be like.  Sometimes these lessons are painful.  But these lessons, teach, forever more.

 

May you find peace.

 

C

 

 

 

 

(MM) Product Review: The Online Office: products, websites, etc.-Updated 4/2/13

Online store: Amsterdam Printing.

www.Amsterdamprinting.com

How I heard about it: Free sample website

Cost: 0.00 plus 0.00 shipping.

Date of order: 2-21-13

Date of recipt: 2-25-13

What I ordered:  41226 Delane Pen B366 Graphite/Black Ink.

What I actually recv’d: 42799 Entice Pen Graphite/Blue Ink.

Well, looking past the issue in the order (considering it was free, I cannot complain too much.)  The pen is professional looking, lightweight, and i believe it is refillable, yet i am having the darndest time trying to get the ink cartridge out.  I got the silver top unscrewed and the spring out, but cannot get the ink cartridge out.  It is a ball point pen, writes well in various positions, and the ink did not smear when I wrote with my left hand versus my right hand (yeah for the ambidextrous testing office supplies!) I had a small issue with no ink when leaning the pen to the sharp sides of about 20 and  about 70 degrees.

I definitely like the pen, I like the grips for your fingers, and I like that I could get printing on them to specify whatever I want. Free, lightweight, efficient, professional looking, and refilable-not the pen I ordered- but definitely still good!  Good professional and promotional item!

****updated*****

So you know how they sent me the wrong pen?  Well someon from thier CS department called.  We spoke about the pen, my likes and dislikes an my thoughts.  I told him the story and he sent me a new one.  With my infor engraved for free on it and a coupon for dicounts on future orders.  AWESOME CS!!!!

WEBSITES I USE:

Originally published under my other blog which I am dismantling and consolidating my way out of for efficiencies sake:

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Tis the Season! An Effective and Efficient Holiday Paper Parade.

So as a busy mother, full-time employee, and small business entrepreneur, I have about 0 time for anything else.  The Holiday season along with all other seasons in my house many times gets overlooked and last minuted…..I spend what feels like days on end, in my car in a parking lot somewhere waiting on one kid to leave so i can take the other one somewhere else.  Because of this i depend on a digital and minimalist lifestyle.

If someone called ill, or a customer called and i needed to be on a jet plane at an airport 45min from me in 1 hr.  I could do it.  My life is in my purse, and the rest of it quickly packable.  I am that mom on the fly-i built a system and live with in that system daily, when i shop, in my downtime (which is typically a 15 min nap in the driver seat of my car in a parking lot).  I love to be on the move and doing all sorts of stuff.  and as a minimalist i do not need much to do it.  When the holidays roll around many times i have a hard time getting to all of the places i need to get to get christmas cards out and to get gifts done.

So I utilize the following websites for my paper goods and gift cards.  (yes, i am one of those gift givers-paper or plastic only…..)

One of the reasons I do cash, check, or gift card is that i personally, and my children, like to spread the joy of holiday all year round.  Meaning that it is hard in december to know what size your growing child will be in june when they need a brand new swimsuit and jeans because instead of sprouting .25 inches they grew 3.”  I also want to give people the option to save their money.  People get, buy, and consume so much that sometimes this overstimulation really is detrimental to how they continue to spend through out the next new year.  That is why two of the top new years resolutions every year are lose weight/get in shape and save money.  both of them get thrown out the window from thanksgiving through the 1st of the calendar year.  Bad habits are hard to break.  And later is too late to start.

Also, most of the people i buy for are late jr. high and up.  They just want cash or prepaid cards they can take use as cash.  I like to give people what they want and what they need.

So we will tackle these in order:

1. Moo    (http://www.moo.com/share/h2f5jb)

I do not know if i am the only soul who conveniently runs out of business cards around the holidays?  But i do.  every year.  I also run out of seals, and to/from stickers and the like.  Moo is a bit more expensive than their competitors like vistaprint.com, but i have found that the quality and the creativity allowance of the cards is worth it.  This site is great for anything business orientated. Super timely, and they save your past products you create for easy reorder and replication.   Try it out, let customer service know i sent you and we can earn free stuff and future discounts!  There is also a 10  card free trial link on the website.

2. Shutterfly (http://www.shutterfly.com)

When I said I like my world digital….i meant it.  I utilize shutterfly as my back up storage for my photos should anything ever happen to my laptop or back up files, they are there.  I also can create calendars, gift or otherwise, stamps, stickers, books, cards, and other types of items with a personalized feel.  There are deals and coupon codes all of the time, and they allow you to save and repeat your past projects should something happen and the original gets damaged or destroyed.  Try it out, let customer service know i sent you, then recommend a friend or family member, and we can earn free stuff and future discounts!  I have ordered photo books,and address labels and I love love love them!!!!  I also have gotten great discounts.

3. Treat (http://www.treat.com)

Don’t have time to get to the store?  or get a gift card, cash, or a stamp?  or even the card itself?  Create your own and have them send it with a “treat”… it is a digital link printed on the card either you personalize and create, or you pick from their site, that the receiver can redeem for a gift card or for the cash you preloaded on it.  Great for college kids away at school-especially if you don’t know the grocery or discount stores around them to help them out! Also great for gifts you have to send for those not close during the holidays!  AND you pick or design, preloaded, and they ship.  Super easy and quick.  My only issue so far as been linking photos from FB and shutterfly (their parent company) so i do not have to re-upload them. Try it out, let customer service know i sent you, then recommend a friend or family member, and we can earn free stuff and future discounts!

4. SCRIP (http://www.shopwithscrip.com)

This is a great program that is not available everywhere, I will warn.  The scrip program is typically done as a part fundraiser/part tuition reimbursement program for schools, churches, and other organizations.  Basically how it works is yo set up an account, choose the closest pick up location or the location/family where you want the funds to be delegated toward.  The admin or coordinator for that facility approves you and you can order gift cards to various places.  The companies that participate designate a percentage that is returned to the buyers allocation-there are refillable cards, and you can pay by check or cash-direct to the program coordinator, or through a presto pay system th takes the funds direct from your account with in 24 hours of the sale.

Example: My children’s school participates. I log in on-line, and I need a gas card.   So i click on the gas station card i want which has a 4% rebate and designate the amount I want on the card.  2% of the 4% goes to my children’s school as a fundraiser, and the other 2% goes in an account to be subtracted from next years tuition bill.  This being said, the year that my last child is through or if we move or change schools, i can take the rebate in cash.  If i know, (and i do) that i need to buy gas every week, i just buy one card a week and i never run out of cards.  I am prepared and if i get ahead a week on gas cards, on a tighter week i can go without purchase.  And it is a continual fundraiser for their school.  Every little bit helps.

And you can order only what you need, therefore no clutter!

So these are just a few of my failsafe sites for when life takes me for a ride I feel like i am not longer actively driving.  With that said, i am always open to check out some of your places and ideas especially for digital storage, security, financials, and just plain fun websites!

thanks!

minimal mommy says: ready…. set…. Stationary!

Happy  Holiday Season 2013.

Permalink:http://minimalmommy.wordpress.com/2012/11/27//

Originally published: at 8:27:29 pm.Last edited by cjsparkle on November 27, 2012 at 9:07 pm

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Associated bag.

http://www.associatedbag.com

If for your small business, or for gifts, or for a big business.  This company makes it easy to try samples before you buy.  I was looking for storage and gift bags for some of the rosaries I make, to both protect and sell them.  I selected up to five samples and they sent them to me for free with in three days of my order.  It was awesome!  Once I get a solid set of orders I will be contacting them to buy two of the bags I got as samples.  The translucent colored gift or purchase bags (blue, purple, clear, green)  are nice and solid and thick.  You can write notes on them in sharpie’s to give them a more personalized gift  feel.  You could also put you business logo on a seal on the bag too.  They were sturdy enough to reuse multiple times, and would be good for marketing of your store after purchase by people who will reuse the sturdy cute give/purchase bag, either to tote something or just bring a lunch somewhere.  The clear draw string tie bags were very convenient for which to house the rosaries, and the little bead style bags were good to secure the safety of the cross at the rosary end from getting scratched or damaged by the rest of the metal on it, even though they were not sealed all the way due to the jump ring. Pricing was good as well.

So all in all, these are my thoughts on my samples and free/coupon experiences of my “online office.”   These are my go to’s.  Some new, some old.  Give them a try and let me know what you think!

C

(MM) Product review: Airborne Free Sample Pack

My review process and disclosure

I love free samples!!!!! Reviewing them unbiased and try-before-you-buy-style Is fun!!! Go consumer product research!  I have become a free sample junkie.  I love, love. love getting samples at stores and in the mail. I try not to buy most women things.  And so far, the easiest things to get for free are women products from shampoos to perfumes and the like.  I started this free sample hunt about 4 months ago, and have decided to review the products as a way to both thank the company for the ability for me to try before I buy, and for consumers to have a real and unbiased commentary about a product.  I have a three drawer storage box under my bathroom counter and a box in my spice cabinet where my free samples go, to be used when I need them, just curious, or I am in the mood to change it up and write a review.   Sometimes I will write a lot of reviews in one short span of time, and other times I will break from doing it. These are my opinions, and please feel free to let me know if you agree or disagree.  I am trying to see how much of my life i can exist upon free samples……. to see if I can get by, and if so for how long.  Free samples also travel well.  Small enough to fit TSA carry on regulations AND they can fit in the cracks of your shoes and other small places for transport.  So here we go!

So, this winter has proved rather healthy for me.  Typically every year I end up with a bronchial infection of some sort followed by sinus and allergy head colds due to the ever-changing weather confusions Wisconsin can behold.  This year I have had 1 head cold and it was early on in the winter.  Cool.  I do not take vitamins, supplements, or really anything from tums to pills, and I do not like drinking plain water, but I dislike powdery mixes for water even more.  I feel like I am drinking gritty water,…..so I was a bit leery about these trial tests.  But i did not want them to go to waste, and i requested the free trial, so with an open mind and a positive attitude I embarked on this healthy endeavor.

In order of trial occurence:

Feb 13-15

1. Top left- 4 Pink chewables- they were quite tasty.  They were larger than I expected them to be.  They did not leave a chalky or metallic taste in my mouth with the completion of chewing them.  Super easy if you remember to take them, or if you take regular drugs/supplements in the morning, it could be an easy addition, especially if you work in general populous careers, like education, nursing, serving/etc.

Feb 22.

2. Top right.- Plus energy refreshing mix- Wow!  It was super refreshing!!! I am not a water drinker.  And crystal lite and such water flavor packets gross me out.   The water i drink i get from hot jet black coffee-that is all.  I like water hot, not cold.  Tha being said, I was very surprised at how tasty and not gritty this was.  I drank it so fast i don’t know that i appreciated it.  All i know is i would definitely drink it again.  It was orange flavored, and sort of reminded me of the kids Sunkist vitamins of the late 1980’s, or of orange pez, but not as sweet.  (the old pez flavor….they taste different today than they did when i was a kid).  It felt good.goind down,and maybe placebo, but i felt very refreshed, not ready for a nap, at 2 pm on my really boring work day.  It is caffeine free-if you dig that kind of life…..

3. Bottom right- effervescent tablet- Entertained by the science experimental fizzing in my cup, i decided to embark upon another sample today.  I have to volunteer in a kitchen serving people this evening and immunity from germs seems like a good option.  I feel ike the water/beverage is thicker than when it was water, an when it was the powder mix.  It is yellow and bubbly.  Again in the orange flavor….i feel like it has the consistency of jello prior to molding or gelatinized.  AAAHHHHHH!!!!! it fizzed!!!!!!!!!like all over my tongue!!!!!!!!  Weird!!!!!!!  the taste is not what i want and i am freaked out by the fizziness.  the other one was so00000o good-this one not so much.  I like mineral water (with gas, for my french friends), but I dont like my tap water with some funny powdery substance making it bizarrely fizzy. I’ll pass.  This should come with a warning.  And i really wish that you all could have been here or i recorded my crazy escapade with this stuff.  I am sure my facial expressions alone could have rendered my 15 min of fame.

4.Top middle- hot soothing mix- I am saving it until the next time i feel like crud.  I will report my findings at that time.  I am currently too weirded out by the last fiz bomb drink to continue…….

*addendum 2-23-12- I gave this (but not be for I tried it), to my daughter who has a head cold.  I though it was pretty flavorless, but it seemed to help clear her nasal passage (which coul dhave just been from the heat of the beverage).  She added additional honey and slices of lemon in order to really give it soothing flavor.  She enjoyed it.  I would not go out and get it for me, but I would go and get it for her, especially if she really feels it helps her feel better.

So all in all, two fo the four I would continue to use or would go out and purchase for me, a third I would go out and purchase for the well- being of my child and her cold.  Not too bad, Airborne!

 

Until next time-

 

C

 

The Business of Sweatpants: (Un)doing your belt buckle.

And start with your pants!!!!!!!  Sometimes my brain i feel is in my stomach- tied to my hunger.  If my pants are too tight or they are those cute pants i own that are just snug and by 2pm I am ready to die from the indentation the banding has left on my now fully caffeinated bloating tummy, I feel like my brain is stranglled-thinking is harder that it was before, and i lose focus on all the many items on my “plate.”  Comfort and satisfaction from food or drink really are the key to my everyday success.  So…. i formulated a plan……

My delicious partner when asked if he wears the pants in the relationship, casually answers- “i don’t wear pants”  and i think if there were not rules on indecent exposure he would indeed go with out pants much of the time.  I work in a world where I have to wear business attire.  This is good because i do not like jeans, and i own only two pairs one of which i have had since I was 13 years old.  I love and have really always loved black pants and warm up (soccer) outfits. Another problem i am faced with is I have very long legs.  I cannot just buy any off the rack pants and i have to by longs or have them lengthened.

FAST FORWARD……..2008 ish…..

I know a good many people that have gone to work the morning after, the night they did not really sleep, but merely pass out for a minute, after an evening of super fun with friends, in a condition that they should never have left the confines of the spot they passed out in.  I did that.  Just that.  One eye open ish, i got dressed in my work clothes and proceeded out of the house. It was not until about 11am, when a coworker complimented my pants and asked where i got them did I realize that i had my sweatpants on. Upon looking down to see which pair of black pants i had put on in half stooper, it dawned on me that i did not put the black dress pants on, but rather my bamboo yoga style black pants. They were the only pair of sweats I owned because finding yoga/sweats in long enough lengths is a very hard feat. Solid black with a little symbol on the corner pocket, no butt pockets, and slightly shiny exterior they disguised themselves as “dress” pants underneath my button down grey shirt.    So……*lightbulb*

Since that date I have three pairs of “dress sweats.”  The green apple brand ones listed above, a Columbia pair, and an Adidas pair all in extra long lengths.  I wear them during the monthly bloat week, shark week, and really any other time where suffocating my brain via my waist would have a detrimental effect on what I need to get done.  I wear them with heals, flats, dress shirts and blazer jackets, tank tops and work out clothes, and really they are a huge part of my wardrobe and versatile for travel. my work out clothes are my dress clothes and with laundering services- lighter packing, mix and match, and comfy too!

I am all about multifunction and comfort.  when you are worried about how you look or if your cloths are lying correctly-you are not focusing on projecting you-confident and comfortable and all the attributes you have.

until next time

C