Parenting: WHOA!

http://shine.yahoo.com/team-mom/half-moms-lie-parenting-38-im-not-surprised-202800740.html

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/moms-dont-discipline-kids-crazy-143000058.html

I provided some entertaining articles above.  Mom’s are so worried about what they are thought of or how they are doing.  here is how i work, maybe it will help you:

I am very fortunate that I learned early, you will be judged not matter what and
you cannot make everyone including yourself happy all of the time. So to remedy
this I blend three things: transparency, consistency, and long-term goals, for
myself and when I parent. So far, at 11 and 8 my children are great! Not
perfect, but just really good and down to earth kids that are well-mannered, can
see past their noses to help others around them, if necessary, and have future
plans and are happy and resilient.

But this comes from everyday discipline, involvement, and awareness of their surroundings.  My children are very fortunate they have seen poor times and have been surrounded by family with some money.  They have a great understanding of wealth and poverty.  I regardless of how poor we have gotten have always found room to give.  They know and understand that.  They also know when ever i have any “extra” i share it with them, especially if a lesson can be rendered from it.

Jolie, my eldest had to do a report on Pluto, the Rotate In Peace, planet.  Lilie is also, in her classroom studying the planets and solar system. Shane and his children love to go to Chicago-which is only a little over an hour from where we live. I last year bought a discovery world of Milwaukee family membership for 75.00 as a school fundraiser from my children.  Because of this, nationwide we can get in to other “reciprocity” museums, only having to pay for the extra features if we want to see theme, like imax shows, or special tours, etc. So to combine a free weekend filled with no sports or responsibilities, we went to Chicago- to the Adler Planetarium and to Chinatown.  We as a family individually have various loves for cultures, science, and exploration and travel.  Each of us has our own favorite subject and place, but each of us love to learn and find out how things work.

During much of the walking we did, we came upon a series of homeless individuals, begging for change.  All of us walked away and avoided them.  We all live in an urban environment, not as large as chicago, but urban enough we are all accustomed to this.

So yesterday, my children and I had a lot of errands to run, post school and work.  We decided to go out to dinner.  I am one of those people who is very much a local restaurant versus corporate kind of person.  I am not mean or boisterous or “occupy” style against corporations, but if given the choice I would rather partake in the local.    Mondays are a hard day t eat local, as many restaurants in our area are closed monday, some additionally sunday or Tuesday.  But we found one, Salute’s, a little italian restaurant and a popular spot among locals.  It is not terribly pricy, but not cheap at the same time.  the atmosphere is warm and welcoming for a family pizza to a customer’s in town kind of business dinner.  The food is always good, and there is plenty of it left to bring home.  ON our way to the car upon leaving we were approached by a man, presumably homeless.  First he started off by complimenting my eldest child and I, not quite crossing a line, but close enough we were both uncomfortable. Having been address in such a way by anyone would have led to the same result.  Then he asked me for money, I said I did not have any. He begun to come closer to me, and i walked in to the car, where my children already were inside of.

As we drove away, my children asked if he was homeless like the people we had seen sunday.  I said probably, yes.     Jolie said, I feel guilty for what i am about to say.  I feel bad that the don’t have a home, but i wonder what they did to get there.  I mean, i know we have been very poor, I know that people lose jobs, and can’t pay bills, but if it was that easy to be homeless there would be many others.  I told her it was ok to feel that way, as that is how i feel too.  Then we talked about why we help families we know that are struggling, why we donate to food pantries, why we do things like that, and there are shelters for homeless to go during the bitter cold.  Many times the homeless have addictions, or have mental illnesses that don’t allow them to find stability and they run themselves out of options or help or even hope.

Al the while we were driving to one of my girls friends houses.  A place we have never been, but a family I really like. They have two girls, both the ages of my children and both girls.  Education and extracurriculars are mandatory, and both are in private schools-different ones.  My children are in one of the religious private schools, and theirs are in a non religious private academy style prep school.  My tuition for 2 children is about 4500 a year, and theirs is probably about 15-20,000.  I work my tail off, and she is a stay at home mom. We live in a very nice loft apartment, and they live in what I am going to guess is a half-million dollar or more, home.  When we pulled in the driveway, Jolie, immediately said, How can I stay here!  I feel so poor and almost dirty!  I said, welcome to how the other side of the spectrum lives.  My Lilie, bless her, says-so where does that put us?

I said- striving for this (the epic home in front of us) and trying to avoid that (homeless).

 

And so it goes.